Years ago, shortly after I turned 30, I became engaged on Valentine’s Day—to a man I ended up not marrying.There was a fancy diamond ring involved, and to be honest, I should have said no the minute my boyfriend proposed.Every morning on the F train at least two or three people would glance at my left hand, smile, and congratulate me.I felt like I had passed beyond one of life’s many velvet ropes, into a VIP club. You probably noticed that in my intro I said only that his parents and friends liked . (She didn’t even tell my dad for weeks, because she knew he would not approve.)My friends were skeptical about my fiancé, but more tolerant than my parents; I think they just hoped for the best. The ring was what everyone rallied around: how beautiful, how big, how perfect the setting.EDITOR' S NOTE: He Said-She Said is a biweekly advice column for singles featuring a question from a reader with responses from a male and female point of view.If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to [email protected] (selected questions will be posted anonymously).Getting married is the biggest decision of your life so it is very important that you take your time to get to know your partner before you decide to tie the knot.
If you're sure you want a long term partner and this is “the one”, we couldn't be happier for you.
If you have found your dream partner and are considering tying the knot, consider our tips to help you along the way.
Before you get engaged and make a commitment, ask yourself whether you're really looking for a long-term partner or just want someone to go to the movies with and know there's nothing wrong with the latter.
(A tiny voice in my head say no.) But I took a deep breath and answered yes for a variety of dumb reasons, including the fact that we had been dating for a year and a half, and marriage just seemed to be the train that we were on.
His parents adored me, and we spent a lot of time with them as well as with his friends. How disappointing for everyone, if there was no happy ending for the two of us.
With the holidays upon us, many couples will be taking the next step in their relationship and becoming engaged.