But when I said goodbye to alcohol and its commensurate drama, I didn't intend to bid farewell to dating.
When 29-year-old Justin first got sober two years ago, he was eager to jump into the dating fray.
And while knocking boots with another sober person may seem like an ideal option, going out with someone from a meeting may be a step (or thirteen) towards disaster.
A new website called Sexy and Sober Singles aims to make the process a little easier.
Drinker Society brings single people together at events to create a community that live social drinking lifestyles.
“I only attracted screwed-up, crazy girls,” he says.” “Any girl with a sane brain in her head would look at a newly sober guy still in rehab who didn’t have a pot to piss in and think, ‘Maybe you need time for yourself.’”Justin’s experience perfectly illustrates why so many experts—and sponsors—caution addicts about dating during the first year of sobriety.
Indeed, while the cardinal rule for all newly sober people is—hello—not to drink, writ slightly lower in the rulebook, in lighter ink, is a mandate against dating during the first year; while it isn’t found in any 12-step literature, the axiom is both whispered and stated aloud in almost any meeting newcomers attend.
” The site is also unique in that unlike major dating sites like or e Harmony, users can see everyone else’s profiles—not just the ones a computer has deemed compatible with their interests.
The idea for the site came from co-founder Paul Kole, who faced his own struggles while trying to date during recovery.
“I know people who are able to sustain fairly healthy relationships when they’re six months sober, but I know others who need five years.