My years of New York City dating—if you’re counting, there have been 12—have involved a lot of guys, short- and long- and mid-term. My shortest—minus the one-off hookups that we all know aren’t “dates” at all—was somewhere in the range of two weeks.
There have been certifiable crazies, like the Eastern European fellow who broke my bedroom window in a fit of rage and told me not to complain that he’d broken my “fucking window.” There was the Jersey boy who worked in women’s handbags; fond memories involve him drunk-puking at the Hilton, then giggling hysterically, running, and “hiding” our soiled comforter in front of someone else’s door down the hall. There was the dashing Argentinean only in town for a week; the Ronkonkoma deli worker barely old enough to drink; the beleaguered i-banker who came over regularly just to pass out on my couch.
The ones that include NYC also claim some New Jersey, maybe a little Pennsylvania, Long Island, etc. Let’s hop across the East River for a moment – in the 20-34 range up above, Williamsburg has a few more men and Greenpoint has a few more ladies, but if we adjust down to 20-29 the picture changes a wee bit. Hip, single, straight, female twentysomethings: you are doomed. Going back to the Chinatown-makes-Lower-Manhattan-blue observation, let’s examine the Outer Boroughs to see if we can find a trend…
Since these areas are basically married, it makes sense to treat them as a single statistical area, right? It’s what Chelsea once was.” As for the one on the bottom, I spend a lot of time down under side of the Manhattan bridge, and while it looks like the Lower East Side I can tell you this: all of those single men are living in Chinatown.
The self-described “bi-coastal but not in a gay way” guy who didn’t come home one night because he’d passed out in a planter underneath the Manhattan Bridge. “He doesn’t deserve you,” they would say, my own Greek chorus.
(We continued to date for at least a month after that.) Their ages have ranged from nearly 15 years younger than me to going on 15 years older. “You’re so much better than him.” Then, inevitably: “Why are New York men such assholes? New York City, to be fair, suffers its share of problems for the female dater.
I was part of the generation of young women who lived and breathed by the lessons of Sex and the City, so I was of the delusional notion that I’d land my very own Mr. It wasn’t necessary to my existence, but definitely something I wanted.
My career was always at the forefront, but since I'm a living, breathing human, it was also my intention to land a partner at some point.
No matter the particulars, remember that you’re not the one to blame.