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If she farted while we were having dinner with the president, my first reaction would probably be a hard-on. She couldn't help being a goddess, sexiness oozed out of her pores.

I gave her a once over -- I swear, my wife could make a pimple look sexy. Without trying to be sexy, my wife was like Isis of Egypt.

I was mildly irritated by the time she finally opened up, but before my lips could even form the words to some smart-assed remark about how long I'd been standing there, my senses were overloaded with the sight before me.

And when she was trying to be sexy, she was the equivalent of substituting the ice cubes in your scotch for lava rocks -- that kind of sex appeal that just burns a man to the core as he takes it in. Her tight fitting top hugged her torso like a second layer of skin - I could practically make out the texture of her bra. " she chuckled, then promptly slapped the shit out of me again, this time stinging the opposite cheek.

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